Monday, January 2, 2012
Top 20 Chuck Norris Facts
Honestly, how cool would it be to have the internet fame of Chuck Norris? Nearly every Youtube video has a comment about him, and there are literally thousands of fun facts about his near divine abilities. Here are my top 20 favorites.
- Voldemort refers to Chuck Norris as "You Know Who"
- The reason newborn babies cry is because they know they have just entered a world with Chuck Norris.
- Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
- When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
- A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris.
- When Alexander Graham Bell invented the telephone, he had three missed calls from Chuck Norris.
- Ghosts sit around the camp fire and tell Chuck Norris stories.
- Chuck Norris has a grizzly bear carpet in his room. The bear isn't dead, it is just too afraid to move.
- Chuck Norris can make a slinky go up the stairs.
- Chuck Norris doesn't age, he levels up.
- Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart would never be so foolish as to attack him.
- It only takes 20 minutes for Chuck Norris to watch 60 Minutes.
- Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands.
- Chuck Norris puts "laughter" in "manslaughter."
- Superman owns of pair of Chuck Norris pajamas.
- Bill Gates lives in constant fear that the PC of Chuck Norris will crash.
- Chuck Norris once decided to test the theory that cats have 9 lives. In conclusion, one roundhouse kick has enough power to take 10 lives at once.
- Chuck Norris can kill your imaginary friends.
- Chuck Norris can eat McDonald's breakfast after 11:00 A.M.
- Chuck Norris won the Iron Chef competition by microwaving hot-pockets.